One of the most challenging aspects of adulthood is the role reversal that occurs between elderly parents and their adult children. It’s very hard to watch the parents who taught you to sink a basketball for three points and how to drive a stick-shift struggle with their daily activities.
If you have reached this point with your parents, having “the talk” is likely something you dread. Below are some tips to help you do the right thing.
Choose your moment (and words) carefully
It might be a good idea to invite your parents out to lunch or for a cup of coffee in the community. They may not be so quick to get angry or shout at you in a public setting. You should also watch the terms you use when discussing changing your parents’ living situation. Refrain from using the term “nursing home” and instead focus on calling it a retirement community or a similar euphemism.
Seek reinforcements
If you have siblings, ideally, you will present a united front. It will be much harder for an incapacitated parent to fight all their children to remain living alone. But if they can convince one sibling to allow them to remain in the home, their argument strengthens.
The best way to approach this is to get everyone on the same page before you confront your parents. Decide among yourselves the best course of action and present it in the best light to your parents.
Be willing to listen and compromise
Just because a parent’s physical or mental health is not in tip-top shape does not necessarily mean that they can no longer live in their home. They may do quite well for several years with outside help from a caregiver agency or some modifications to the home.
It may be easier to transition your parents to assisted living in several steps. That way, the loss is not so great, and they may be ready to make a move to a caregiver setting later.
